


I'm only a Human with a Split Personality, no need to worry when bad things happen to me. I'm not important

by Teen_Wolf_Entity (Atalanta_Jackson)



Series: Lyric Stories [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Suicide, split personality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-24
Updated: 2016-09-24
Packaged: 2018-08-17 00:31:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8123593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atalanta_Jackson/pseuds/Teen_Wolf_Entity
Summary: So this is something I thought up today, it's based on the song 'Human' by Christina Perri. It's mostly Stiles-centered but it also has a bit at the end on how the Pack are handling it. Warning: It's dark and if you don't like Suicide or self-harm or hurt!Stiles, don't read. I understand, I tried to strangle myself because I read too many of these. I kinda made Derek and most of the Pack to be bad guys sorry!





	

_I can hold my breath  
I can bite my tongue_

Stiles heard the pack, laughing and chatting as they fought the monsters that Gerard Argent had sent out to battle them. For a brief moment he had thought they were here for him, but that was crushed when he heard Scott’s voice say “Man, Stiles is gonna be so pissed that he missed this!” They hadn’t noticed him missing. His heart felt crushed.

_I can stay awake for days  
If that’s what you want_

Derek had come back for him, later. He had taken him and then left, tossing something over his shoulder about how he should be more prepared next time. That was all he was worth. A tossed mention about how he should've been more prepared. Then left like he was yesterday's trash. Maybe he was. Maybe... Maybe kept him going to the sink every night, picking up the razor and slicing into his skin before going to bed. Stiles didn’t sleep for over 2 weeks after Derek's casual statement, studying about every type of supernatural creature there was even a slightest chance they could battle against. And nobody noticed until he fell asleep in Chemistry, 6 months after he’d started.

_Be your number one  
I can fake a smile_

Stiles looked at them, at their worried faces. Suddenly he was being babied, with everyone making sure that he had enough sleep and enough food and enough water. But they didn’t know how carefully he placed on the mask every morning, the mask that he was fine. That he could keep up. He quit lacrosse last week, he was forced. Blackmailed. He remembered telling Scott that he was skin and bones and sarcasm was his only defence. That seemed so long ago, that he had healthy skin and bones and muscles. Now he practically never went outside, his voice had dried up and his muscles were too weak to do much more than walk and smile and write.

_I can force a laugh  
I can dance and play the part_

Sometimes he laughed at a joke, but it was never like his old laugh. His laugh now was brittle and bitter, nothing like the joyful sound it used to be. None thought to look past the mask and see the broken boy beneath, as long as he played his part as the sidekick, the expendable, the weakest link. Scott was too hung up on Allison and Kira and choosing between them, and no one else was either close enough (Peter and Malia) or too wrapped up in their own problems (everyone else).

_If that’s what you ask  
Give you all I am_

Stiles looked at Derek as he spoke, sadness and begging in them. He had given Derek all he could, and what did he get in return? He got kicked out of the pack, that’s what. Derek had asked for comfort, and damn it, Stiles had given it! But Stiles had stopped wanting, and instead start despairing. It was never going to stop, all the abuse and the… whatever it was. Does it count as rape if he’d wanted it in the beginning? Stiles certainty thinks so.

_But I’m only human  
And I bleed when I fall down_

He distanced himself, his razor seemingly cutting his skin and his pack bonds. It was a relatively normal battle; since being kicked out of the pack, Stiles had started to fight the packs enemies before they reached Beacon Hills. He had moved out here shortly after graduation, going to a nearby college to receive his education. He was paid to protect people sometimes, otherwise he was paid for protecting the town where his college was. None of the pack had come here, for which he was grateful.

_I’m only human  
And I crash and I break down_

Stiles had made a name for himself in the Supernatural world. Red Hood was a powerful opponent, and none were willing enough – or suicidal enough – to attempt to go through it to reach Beacon Hills. Red Hood had a pack, filled with powerful supernatural creatures, and there was a rumour that it was the most powerful creature ever. But none knew of the scars lining Stiles’ arms and torso. His legs and stomach. They said that none had seen the Red Hood’s face. The McCall pack thought that they didn’t have any enemies because they were so powerful. They grew arrogant. All of them. But none knew of the pack in the small town with a Nemeton anymore. Red Hood made sure of that. But what no one outside of its pack knew was that it collapsed sometimes, out of exhaustion. It had to eat, was forced to, and someone was always there when it showered, to make sure it didn’t drown itself. Someone slept with it, too, just to make sure it didn’t suffocate in the night.

_Your words in my head  
Knives in my heart_

Stiles felt the familiar pins and needles he always felt when someone got too close. His memories were foggy, but he faintly remembered when he could speak. His heart was sought after, but each time someone tried, he felt knives. He remembered the feeling of someone sliding into his body without his permission every time someone tried to seduce him. He remembered feeling lost, feeling lonely, but wasn’t sure why. He didn’t know why he felt so protective over Beacon Hills, yet such anger and hatred towards it at the same time. He only remembered his voice saying, no, begging for someone to help him to forget. He didn’t want to remember. If he remembered, he couldn’t forget again. And he liked forgetting those memories.

_You build me up and then I fall apart  
Cause I’m only human_

Sometimes Red Hood would remember. The good and the bad. But only for a day, and it only happened every year and a day. On those days, Red Hood would become Stiles Stilinski again, and would wear Stiles’ old dorky clothes and would spend the day inside a pillow fort drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows and crying. On those days, Red Hood’s pack would join Stiles inside the pillow fort, drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows and sending comfort down the pack bonds. There would be no talking on those days. 

_I can turn it on  
Be a good machine_

Red Hood wasn’t a human. It wasn’t Stiles Stilinski. It had stopped being Stiles Stilinski long before it changed its name, but none had noticed. Red Hood was a machine, born out of necessity. Stiles Stilinski was an adventurous young boy who died at the age of 17, shortly after the Nogistune stopped possessing him. Red Hood was a killer, a mage who killed those who got in his way. Stiles Stilinski was an innocent, a spark who only killed when necessary.

_I can hold the weight of worlds_  
_If that’s what you need_  
_Be your everything_

On the bad days, he held this weight. When the Nogistune possessed him, he held the weight of everyone’s worlds. But there is a problem when you hold the weight of everyone’s worlds. There comes a time when it will crush you. And it happened the first time Derek slid into him, warm and slick. None saw the fall, the collapse, the wreckage. None saw that as the dust settled, a new person came out wearing Stiles’ face. More machine than human. Too powerful to continue learning it’s element. Too weak to join in pack exercises. Too knowledgeable to be let go. Too stupid to join in.

_But I’m only human  
And I bleed when I fall down_

They understood. Its pack was going to cover his death for as long as necessary. Taking a deep breath as the clock struck midnight, Red Hood took control once more. Its face became as blank as a piece of paper. No emotion stuttered across as it purposefully lifted the razor, admiring it before slicing through its wrist, vertical to the veins so it would bleed faster. What no one had known was that Stiles had always had a split personality. Red Hood was the newest personality, who had come shortly after the Nogistune. It was the angry one, the one that held on to grudges. The one with the worst emotions. Kiyoshi was the eldest, the emotionless one, the one that came whenever they were at a funeral, or someone special had died. Kiyoshi had come when they were beaten by the Sheriff after their mother’s death, at her funeral, when the Hales died a year later. Everyone special either died or abandoned them. Ash. Ash was the one who would blow things up or set them on fire. Ash had set Peter on fire before letting Stiles have control later that night. Trivia. Trivia was a drag queen, all witchy power. Trivia very rarely came out to play, because she was so powerful. Void!Stiles. More commonly known as Void, he came to power when the Nogistune possessed Stiles. Pandora. Curiosity. Pandora was in control when Scott got bitten. She can’t resist a good mystery, but her biggest question is what happens in death? Do you go to the Underworld, like the Greek, Roman and Egyptian Pantheons say? Or do we go to Valhalla, like the Norse? Or do we just float around in endless oblivion?

_I’m only human  
And I crash and I break down_

Red Hood felt the blood leak down its arms, dripping onto the white tiles beneath its feet. It listened to Stiles and Trivia wail and cry at the memories. Only Stiles had remembered, but Trivia was allowed to look. Red Hood cut their other arm, vertical down the veins again. It heard Ash complain about not going out in an explosion, and Pandora ask her questions about death. It heard Kiyoshi ask to write a note. Void was waiting patiently, quietly, dangerously. The others, the less powerful ones, stayed quiet. It then hit them that they were going to die. Red Hood cut vertically down their throat, just before they blacked out.

_Your words in my head  
Knives in my heart_

Over in Beacon Hills, Lydia screamed his nickname as his soul passed on. It felt like someone was stabbing her with a rusty knife. She screamed for so long she blacked out, and still she screamed. Her vocal chords tried to stop working and still she screamed. Her heartbeat stopped beating 5 times and still she screamed. She didn’t stop until her throat bled and she drowned in her own blood. No one there knew that, over in Red Hood’s pack house, their 3 banshees had the same thing split between them. They survived, unlike Lydia, but only just.

_You build me up and then I fall apart  
Cause I’m only human_

Scott felt his heart stop when he heard Lydia scream Stiles’ name. She continued screaming, and too late he realised that not all of them had completely cut their pack bonds with Stiles. He knew that Lydia was going to be kicked out of the pack once she stopped screaming. But when she did, it was with a gurgle, and all the werewolves heard her heart stop. And it didn’t restart when the humans used their electricity things to try to restart it. He dimly heard someone say that she drowned in her own blood. He knew that the good things in life never lasted. Claudia Stilinski, a saint. Died of frontotemporal dementia. Allison Argent, Scott’s girlfriend before she died. Died of a fever that came when her stomach wound was healing after the Nogistune stabbed her. Kira Yukimura, Scott’s second girlfriend before she died. Died from too much power going into her body. Stiles Stilinski, his brother. _Not anymore_ a little voice whispers. _Not for ages_. Died temporarily before getting possessed and trying to kill everyone, almost killing Allison, Scott’s girlfriend at the time. Died from an unknown cause. Lydia Martin, goddess of Beacon Hills. Died from drowning in her blood that fell from her shredded throat after non-stop screaming for a few minutes.

_I’m only human_  
_I’m only human_  
_Just a little human_

Derek felt guilty. If he had never let Kate seduce him, then his family would never have burned. If his family hadn’t died, Peter wouldn’t’ve bitten Scott. If Scott wasn’t bitten, then Derek wouldn’t’ve met Stiles, the adorable spaz. If he had never met Stiles, then they wouldn’t’ve had sex. If they hadn’t had sex, then Stiles never would’ve left, leaving Derek and his heart empty. That was Derek’s reasoning. His wolf howled in sorrow for its mate’s passing. Because of them.

_I can take so much  
Until I’ve had enough_

Isaac felt sad. He had loved Allison, liked Kira and respected Stiles. All the wolves could tell that Stiles was Derek’s True Mate, so they were naturally submissive to their Alpha’s Mate. But to Isaac, to his human side, Stiles was the one who complained about his scarves and always remark on Isaac’s constant negativity. Who he could count on to never stop talking. It was only after Stiles left the pack, was kicked out, that Isaac realised how much quieter it was without Stiles and his constant chatter. When he looked back on his memories of Stiles, he realised that Sties had used talking as a method of hiding. Unlike Isaac, who would stick to the shadows, Stiles would ramble on about something or other, knowing that nobody would pay attention. Nobody would notice him, except to tell him to shut up.

_But I’m only human  
And I bleed when I fall down_

Malia regretted the death of her ex-boyfriend. He had died so young. She had refused to let him cut their pack bonds whilst he was there, hanging out with him in the library, telling him about what the others said about him behind him back. He told her about how her cousin Derek was fucking him. He told her when it turned from sex into rape. He told her about his split personalities, as she was the only one who truly cared. But he cut their bonds when he left, Red Hood taking his face. And she knew that Liam never really knew Stiles, as he had left shortly after Liam was bitten by Scott. But what he did know was the Stiles had had a dissociative identity disorder; he had a split personality. According to Scott, Stiles had once told that there were around “6 of us up here in my head. Stiles is just the one that you see the most”. Those were his exact words. Scott then admitted that he had only met Stiles, Kiyoshi and Pandora, but he had seen Void and Ash once. Everyone in the pack had nice stories about Stiles when he’d left, but Liam had heard them when he was around, the lying backstabbers.

_Your words in my head_  
_Knives in my heart_  
_You build me up and then I fall apart_  
_Cause I’m only human_


End file.
